Death Race 2010.

OK, so I was out driving my intrepid old Nissan to a shopping mall today to get my little brother the last post-Christmas gift I hadn't had a chance to pickup. Since he was visiting and likes to pick out his own things it was a perfect arrangement.

Now as a driver, I am obsessed with driving defensively. I also obey the laws of the road because I don't have points on my license, don't want points on my license and prefer to keep my relationship with law enforcement at an admiring distance.

So there I am driving. Carefully. Throughout the 20 minute shopping trip I encountered people: speeding, changing lanes like bats out of hell without signalling; one accident where someone tried to make a left turn after the light change, thus slamming into another car who was speeding and wham - one car without a bumper, a police cruiser on the scene and a traffic tie-up. Then someone nearly hit my car as I was pulling into the parking lot. When I honked - merely to alert them that there was a car behind them, the driver gave me the finger.

On the way out, a car ran a stop sign as I was already in the process of making my turn. Honked at me, long and loud and ranted from within their car. Using my blinker, I made my nice legal turn and continued on my way home.

At which point I was almost hit by someone making an illegal U-turn.

Almost impossible to believe I've never had an accident. But I've honed defensive driving to an art.

To the crappy drivers out there, think about being in your car with a loved one. Wouldn't you want all the other drivers to be safe, to follow the rules of the road, to use blinkers, stop at stop signs and refrain from speeding?

Not A Hard Concept, Folks

What does this sign mean? Easy question, right? Apparently not. APPARENTLY, many, many people think this sign is the acronym for "Slight Tap on Pedal".

No, ASS HOLES, it means STOP - as in come to a complete rest, all motion ceased, your car no LONGER MOVING, the opposite of GO.

Every morning - and evening - I risk my life trying to cross at 3 and 4 way intersections with prominently placed STOP signs, all of which are utterly ignored as folks (usually the jerkwads are on cell phones, too, also an illegal bit of business) zip right on through. Occassionally a momentary slowing (from 40 in a 30 mph zone to oh, say, 39?) before hitting the gas.

This morning I was nearly run down by a cop who also, apparently, didn't recognize the old red octagon for what it means.

I hate these people.

No, really, I do.

People on a cell phone, in a car packed with kids, don't stop at a STOP sign and nearly run over pedestrians. And did it ever occur to them that a big old semi bearing down on them may actually EXPECT them to stop, and when they don't?

Squashed kids.

Please. When you see the red sign with the white letters, do what it says. STOP.

The kid you save may be your own. Or, at the very least, the bumper. Like the one I saw lying on the side of the road this morning.

And you won't have me flipping you the bird in the rear view mirror.