Go Green, Or Else

I'm not asking a lot, really. I'm not asking that folks all re-design their homes with solar panels or wind machines in the back yard to power their wide-screen TVs (though that isn't a bad idea - maybe they can package the two together).

What I am asking is pretty simple, really. And the only people who don't do it are stupid and lazy. And rude and inconsiderate and we should take it out of their wallets when prices go up on our stuff!

One. Park in a freaking parking space at a store, and DON'T leave your engine running. Especially, particularly, if you are driving a big honking SUV. Sports Utility Vehicles should not be sold to any individual who can't or won't walk a brisk block. If they are such slugs that they have to park RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE SUPERMARKET ENTRANCE then they can't have the car. Make them drive VW bugs - it'll make them humble

Besides, I park wherever I find a spot even if I do have to walk a few hundred feet (for crying out loud you are going inside a store where you are going to, HELLO, walk around!!!!!!). I don't drive around for an hour looking for the closest spot. I just park it.

And a side point, I have a handicapped tag in the car because it is my Mom's. She's handicapped. She uses the tag. I AM NOT AND I DON'T USE IT. If you are one of those millions of people who got a tag because your left eye twitches when the moon is full GIVE IT UP. If you use the tag that belongs to your great uncle Milt who limps because he's got a pin in his hip from fighting the Japs on Iwo, then STOP IT.

It isn't a "Lazy Person Tag", its a handicapped person tag. Nuff said.

But back to my main rant.

Be green, OK? Instead of idling that mother Hummer in front of the Stop and Shop, park it. And walk a few feet.

THEN, when you get to the check out line, do not double-plastic bag your groceries. Do not even single plastic bag them. Collect the freaking recyclable bags that they sell everywhere for 89 cents or 99 cents and USE THEM.

Do you really think you are so important, so busy, that using them, refolding them and storing them until your next shopping trip, is simply too much time taken from your vital activities? You aren't, so get over it.

And last, but not least, use a little muscle, folks.

Got leaves? RAKE THE LITTLE SUCKERS UP. You can even have a compost heap and not stuff them in plastic bags, but let them decompose and use them as humus for your garden. It's GOOD for the earth, OK?

And don't hire the little lawn locusts with their un-regulated leaf blowers that blow leaves, detritis and small children all over the place (like into my yard). Make them rake and bag for cripes' sake.

Got snow? How about a shovel, dude? Instead of your snow blowing ear-drum blowing machine, heft a shovel and burn some calories.

I guarantee you that gut will thank you. So will your blood pressure.

C'mon, people. Being green isn't easy. It's REALLY EASY.

Do it or Mother Nature will make you very sorry.

Can you say drought? Hurricane season? Floods? Heat wave?

Face the facts, OK?

Times are tough. I thought I'd spread the news in case you have been hibernating for, oh, the last six months. (I'd say 8 years, but I think that's gotten across.)

The economy tanked. All over the world folks are thanking us, again, for leading the way. AIG guys got the first $$$$ and took a nice trip. Automakers flew (economy? nah!) to a meeting in DC to beg for cash. The NY financial bigwigs are taking bonuses and getting golden parachutes, with which they are bailing on the industry they have totally fucked over.

And who's paying the price? Oh, why, you and I, of course. But at this point it is all water under the bridge. What we need to do now is fortify that freaking dam so the next time there's a fiscal high-water problem, it doesn't spring a leak the size of Arnold Schwarzenegger (can't spell the name, not gonna try).

We're in for a tightening of the proverbial belt and I wish folks would just get over it.

Today's headlines here in the Big Old Apple are all about Governor Patterson being a "Grinch", asking for taxation of all those necessities - beer, music for our iPods, etc. C'mon. I'm a Bud Lite girl myself, but I'm fully prepared to have to pull a few extra bucks out of my wallet if I have to in order to enjoy my favorite beverage. Because times are uber tough and our State is in financial difficulty just like the rest of the country.

Sure, my Mom gets a Star tax exemption and those may well be a thing of the past. Not fun.

But we are a Democracy. We run on the wheels of taxpayers' money. That's how it has been, that's how it has always been. Have people forgotten this?

I heard someone say during the height of the bailout talks, "And they're going to use my tax dollars to pay for this!".

Well, shit, Sherlock, of course they are. JUST LIKE THEY USE YOUR TAX DOLLARS TO PAY FOR EVERY SINGLE THING!

From Bush's golf trips and Cheney's Halliburton buddies' windfalls to the war in Iraq and the contaminated FEMA trailers. We foot the bill for EVERYTHING.

So that is why you might want to consider this when casting your vote, whether it is for a local alderman, a DA, a State congressman or a Commander in Chief.
That's why the country bellied up to the voting booths this year and made it a CHANGE WE CAN BELIEVE IN. Because it isn't just about your rights, it is about your wallet. Pick the guy you believe will spend YOUR MONEY wisely.

But for now we have to bite the bullet and pull ourselves out of the muck, we're gonna have to pay for the cleaners ourselves. Just like always.

So stop whining. If we want social services, if we want our State operation to keep running, so our lives can be as normal as possible, and so that our fellow citizens suffer as little as possible, we're gonna have to just deal.

And then remember it when the next group starts getting too rich, too quick, and we aren't seeing the benefits trickling anywhere but up.

No one paid attention when the going was good and now that it's gotten tough, everyone's placing the blame.

Pay attention from here on out and maybe it won't hurt so much next time.

Not A Hard Concept, Folks

What does this sign mean? Easy question, right? Apparently not. APPARENTLY, many, many people think this sign is the acronym for "Slight Tap on Pedal".

No, ASS HOLES, it means STOP - as in come to a complete rest, all motion ceased, your car no LONGER MOVING, the opposite of GO.

Every morning - and evening - I risk my life trying to cross at 3 and 4 way intersections with prominently placed STOP signs, all of which are utterly ignored as folks (usually the jerkwads are on cell phones, too, also an illegal bit of business) zip right on through. Occassionally a momentary slowing (from 40 in a 30 mph zone to oh, say, 39?) before hitting the gas.

This morning I was nearly run down by a cop who also, apparently, didn't recognize the old red octagon for what it means.

I hate these people.

No, really, I do.

People on a cell phone, in a car packed with kids, don't stop at a STOP sign and nearly run over pedestrians. And did it ever occur to them that a big old semi bearing down on them may actually EXPECT them to stop, and when they don't?

Squashed kids.

Please. When you see the red sign with the white letters, do what it says. STOP.

The kid you save may be your own. Or, at the very least, the bumper. Like the one I saw lying on the side of the road this morning.

And you won't have me flipping you the bird in the rear view mirror.