Go Green, Or Else

I'm not asking a lot, really. I'm not asking that folks all re-design their homes with solar panels or wind machines in the back yard to power their wide-screen TVs (though that isn't a bad idea - maybe they can package the two together).

What I am asking is pretty simple, really. And the only people who don't do it are stupid and lazy. And rude and inconsiderate and we should take it out of their wallets when prices go up on our stuff!

One. Park in a freaking parking space at a store, and DON'T leave your engine running. Especially, particularly, if you are driving a big honking SUV. Sports Utility Vehicles should not be sold to any individual who can't or won't walk a brisk block. If they are such slugs that they have to park RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE SUPERMARKET ENTRANCE then they can't have the car. Make them drive VW bugs - it'll make them humble

Besides, I park wherever I find a spot even if I do have to walk a few hundred feet (for crying out loud you are going inside a store where you are going to, HELLO, walk around!!!!!!). I don't drive around for an hour looking for the closest spot. I just park it.

And a side point, I have a handicapped tag in the car because it is my Mom's. She's handicapped. She uses the tag. I AM NOT AND I DON'T USE IT. If you are one of those millions of people who got a tag because your left eye twitches when the moon is full GIVE IT UP. If you use the tag that belongs to your great uncle Milt who limps because he's got a pin in his hip from fighting the Japs on Iwo, then STOP IT.

It isn't a "Lazy Person Tag", its a handicapped person tag. Nuff said.

But back to my main rant.

Be green, OK? Instead of idling that mother Hummer in front of the Stop and Shop, park it. And walk a few feet.

THEN, when you get to the check out line, do not double-plastic bag your groceries. Do not even single plastic bag them. Collect the freaking recyclable bags that they sell everywhere for 89 cents or 99 cents and USE THEM.

Do you really think you are so important, so busy, that using them, refolding them and storing them until your next shopping trip, is simply too much time taken from your vital activities? You aren't, so get over it.

And last, but not least, use a little muscle, folks.

Got leaves? RAKE THE LITTLE SUCKERS UP. You can even have a compost heap and not stuff them in plastic bags, but let them decompose and use them as humus for your garden. It's GOOD for the earth, OK?

And don't hire the little lawn locusts with their un-regulated leaf blowers that blow leaves, detritis and small children all over the place (like into my yard). Make them rake and bag for cripes' sake.

Got snow? How about a shovel, dude? Instead of your snow blowing ear-drum blowing machine, heft a shovel and burn some calories.

I guarantee you that gut will thank you. So will your blood pressure.

C'mon, people. Being green isn't easy. It's REALLY EASY.

Do it or Mother Nature will make you very sorry.

Can you say drought? Hurricane season? Floods? Heat wave?